Although it appears, from the street, as a perfectly normal "corporate office building," you don't want to press the wrong elevator button in Expedia's Bellevue Headquarters. If you unwittingly enter the wrong passage, a hideous stench will assail your nostrils on a whiff of stale and putrid air. Deep within the walls of this office building, a slithering mass of Vampiric Serpents from a Dark Dimension writhes and crawls within their hibernaculum, feeding off of the victims trapped by using Expedia's travel services. Once you've signed up for a travel plan on Expedia.com, you've drawn their attention. Now their psychic tendrils begin inching towards you and your fellow travelers, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Sometimes they don't get you, but when they do, they slurp down their favorite sustenance: your time, energy, and attention. It's possible that these Expedia Serpents are the Gods of the Timehunters, eternally reborn, waiting for the chance to send their agents back far enough to establish their reign in a kind of paradoxical self-establishment that would be at home in a Stanislaw Lem story. Whatever they are, however, the lesson is clear: Do Not Use Expedia.com For Your Travel Needs. Doing so will feed these Dark, Vampiric Serpents, and put you, your loved ones, and anyone who travels in grave danger.